This semester has been filled with challenges and joys. Each of you through your positive, supportive, and reflective feedback have encouraged me to learn even more through your personal stories, and the research that you have done. I wish you all the best in your endeavors, and I hope that we can stay connected.

Parting Can Be Sweet Sorrow

I believe the hardest groups to leave are those groups which are high-performing, action driven, and those who accomplish the task at hand. These types of groups are hard to leave because over time you build and establish bonds that often extend over a life time. This is impart due to team dynamics and collaborating with each other on task and building trust over time, and in some cases you can become like family developing a tight bond.
I have participated in groups over the years such as Girl Scouts, Leadership Cohorts, College Projects, Advisory Committees, Boards appointed by the Governor, and when we part there are closing rituals that we do such as exchanging information, hugging, going away parties, and recapping accomplishments through multi-media presentations with photos. When thinking of adjourning from my colleagues I hope to meet them face to face during the graduation ceremony and activities, and there is always social media that would allow us to remain connected. Adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork because it brings closure, and allows the group to recap their accomplishments, and lessons learned through their experience.

Conflict

Recently I had a discussion with a co-worker regarding some tough decisions she was facing and how she would communicate to over 100 parents that they would no longer be receiving subsidy due to budget cuts, etc. She struggled with the idea of talking with an irate parent who demanded to see her based on the letter she received in the mail notifying her of termination. I expressed to her the importance of learning the dance of communication, learning when to speak, and when to listen. My co-worker and I then began to get in a heated discussion about how she would handle the situation. She felt like this particular parent had been on subsidy “long enough” and she didn’t need it any longer, and she felt that she was telling untruths regarding her income and she should have been terminated some time ago. I expressed to her that it was NOT our responsibility to judge when families are in need and if they really need assistance. If they are not telling the truth it will eventually catch up with them. So I kindly suggested that she try her best to keep her personal feelings out of the equation and try her best stick to the script of telling her, the reason for the termination was due to federal funding that would be ending soon, and it was out of our hands to issue monies for day care vouchers at this time. In this particular situation there is no compromise between the parent and case worker, however she and I resolved to ensure that the parents feelings and needs should come first and to find alternative ways to help her pay for day care. Once she met with the mom she later discovered that her husband had abandoned their family leaving her with no housing, or financial means to take care of their family which left ALL of the responsibilities on her. My co-worker expressed that she was so thankful that she did not fuss her out, or divulge her assumptions, and she also stated that she told the parent in the future to refrain from using profanity with her. This situation really embraces the skills sets of the Non-Violent Communication Skill set mentioned:

1. Differentiating observation from evaluation, being able to carefully observe what is happening free of evaluation, and to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us;

2. Differentiating feeling from thinking, being able to identify and express internal feeling states in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame/punishment;

3. Connecting with the universal human needs/values (e.g. sustenance, trust, understanding) in us that are being met or not met in relation to what is happening and how we are feeling; and

4. Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving).

Who I am as a Communicator.

Through the assessments I discovered who I was as a communicator. The one thing that surprised me the most was that I need to work on my listening skills. This surprised me but did not shock me because of the unusual amount of responsibilities that are upon me at this time which has caused me to a million different thoughts in my mind. Through the assessment I was able to identify areas of improvement in terms of my ability to articulate my feelings as well as communicate within group settings and publicly. Gaining insight on these two has given me something to be thankful for as well as something to reflect upon improving. Each of these can enhance my personal and professional life, and more importantly improve my relationships with those whom I come in contact with in the business world and within my family. The assessment has been by far my favorite assignment because it gave me an opportunity to assess myself and reflect upon strengths and weaknesses.